I hate cute. Really I do.
How cute is my little cat Willow checking out my painting for the day?
I received my Monday morning check-in from my mom. She doesn’t work Mondays so I can always count on a call at some point during the day.
I can tell my mother is trying really hard not to give me feedback. Not good or not bad and I find it very interesting.
My mom has an art gallery. Any time I go to her place, she’ll show me some new artists work and ask me what I think. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I can appreciate it, but it’s just not my taste.
That is how art goes. It’s value is in the eye of the beholder.
So what a strange predicament we are both in. Does she tell me every piece I ever create is simply amazing because she is my loving mother? or does she crush my spirit by telling me what she quite realistically doesn’t like?
Well, I think it’s neither actually. I get the vibe that she does not want to influence me either way, which is quite remarkable.
Quite honestly, she is the only person in the world whose opinion I truly seek. Part of that is because I am her daughter and I want her to tell me that I am a good little girl. But the other part is that I know she is an amazing art dealer. She has amazing taste and amazing intuition when it comes to selecting art.
So what to do?
She’s unconditionally loving no matter what.
So she called this morning and told me that she loved #151- John Cages Studio. And I said “that is funny, I absolutely hate it at this moment. It is so weird and crazy”. See that, we already disagree! hee hee hee. We chatted about other stuff and then I finally asked her, so what do you think about these abstracts I’ve been doing the past couple of days? (Here is my final painting by the way: 18×24 watercolor on 140 lb. cold press:
I could tell she was fishing for words, but didn’t have any. Yeah, we know what that means!
So this was what she said instead.
“Ya know Mary, this is what is coming out of you at this very moment. It is what wants to be expressed. You need to keep doing whatever your inner-self requires because there is a lot in there.”
Now really, it is a brilliant answer and very spiritual by the way. But this is what I gain from it.
Who cares what anybody thinks about your art? Who cares who likes it and who hates it? You need to create it because that is what your soul is wanting to experience. There may be some gems that come forth. There may be some paper that needs recycling. Just do what your heart desires without any need for approval.
Very wise words mom. Very wise words.
And yet I am still human. Some days I feel greatly independent and other days I feel like that five-year old kid who seeks their mom’s approval.
All I know, is I will keep on moving on…one day at a time and one painting at a time.
and I’ll post it no matter what because it is all about the journey. Everything else will just fade.