After reading my posts for a while, you’ve probably come to recognize I am no English major!
However, this vision of a forest wrapped around a little child flashed through my head and I felt like I needed to create a proverb to explain it.
The child of course, represents the “inner child” in all of us. The forest represents that in our adult lives which we are too afraid to “go for”.
I can’t tell you how many people I know, who aren’t doing what their soul yearns to do, because of the great “WHAT IFs”. Here are some of them:
What if I leave my cushy job. How will I pay for x y & z?
What if my partner thinks I’m a total lunatic? What if they disapprove?
What if I fail?
What if I waste time? I don’t have that kind of time…
What if something happens and I don’t finish?
How will I tell the world that my life is a lie? That I really am not happy and I really am not doing what I love? If I haven’t told everyone up until now, doesn’t that sort of make me a fake? an imposter?
Sometimes our fears and insecurities can keep us from ever even trying. The forest may be intimidating, but our thoughts can be way worse, they can deem us immobile.
Well, my biggest fear was putting myself out there artistically. I wouldn’t want anyone to see something I was working on until it was perfect…and guess what? Perfect never came.
In some ways you can say my fear is facing the world and being brave enough to stand up and introduce myself the way my “inner child” would.
Blogging is a way I can face this fear head on. Whether I am happy with the outcome of a days work or I simply want to cringe, I am still decreeing to the world, that I want to be AN ARTIST!
When I put my life in that perspective and I ask myself “Did you show up today? Did you try something new? Did you try your best? Can you now let go of your ego and put something out into the world?” -when I answer these questions, then I know I am in the forest.
Here are my answers to the questions:
I am no longer playing it safe at a job that simply creates income.
I have declared to the world my most inner wishes and desires.
I fully embrace failure. Now I see that learning everyday, practicing, trying my best to work toward my goal far surpasses failure. It makes me strong. It makes me true. These are qualities I admire.
The only time I considered wasted, were the thirty years that came before this year. The years I spent playing it safe and talking myself out of EVERYTHING!
Even with this 365, I still have constant worries. “What if I break my wrist? What if my child needs me? What if I cop-out? What if my family doesn’t support me? What if I over sleep? What if I spill coffee on my last 6 hours of work???”
The answer to all these questions is that you stay present. You deal with every potential problem as it comes.
Today, I have absolutely no idea where I will find the time to create something tomorrow. Seriously no idea. I gently dismiss this fear and I have faith that something creative will come my way. Tomorrows time will present itself.
So far, It has gotten me to Day #312.
The better question to ask myself, is what would this year have looked like if I didn’t personally challenge myself to be creative? It would be a pretty empty and boring year filled with obligations that always got in the way of what I truly wanted to do.
So here is my reminder, to all of us, myself included.
“NAVIGATING THE FOREST IS ATTAINABLE. THE CHALLENGE LIES IN BEING BRAVE ENOUGH TO ENTER.”
Be brave enough to show the world who you really are.
Do it EVERY day.
I promise you, your soul will rejoice!
Be Creative Mary 
Such great colors
I just read this post, Mary, and damn! It really hits me where I live right now.
Thanks for articulating exactly how I feel at this moment. I hope to be able to at least ENTER the forest soon.
I sent you a podcast link to Elizabeth Gilbert speaking on this matter. Did u get it? You also HAVE TO read The Alchemist. Consider it a small gift to yourself. This is coming up for you for a reason. Pay attention!
I just read my post you sent me. Man I have no recollection of even writing it. It’s good. I was being heartfelt and really honest. Apparently some days I even sound enthusiastic! I’m going to sit with my own words today and make sure I’m still on track. Do you see your not alone? That’s the #1 reason I love blogging. Once in a while I connect with a kindred spirit. Erika your soul is screaming to you and your terrified of what your hearing. Your getting ready to grow and jump off the cliff into the unknown. I can clearly sense it. Your going to do great things. I feel it :) pain and discomfort mean your out of your comfort zone. The place where all great things occur. Namaste my friend :)