Sorry peoples – I’s a cat person!
There was that week, the one where I totally freaked out about ruining all the paintings I was working on? It was a few weeks back. Well, in response to my-freak out, I stepped away from the paintings I was working on and started some new ones. The new ones were way smaller – like 11×14 as opposed to 20×24’s. I encouraged myself to go small and go simple. This way maybe I wouldn’t flee the scene never to return!
It worked. It kept me at it. I focused on creating colors that I particularly like (up until this point my paint selections have been random without any thought.) I love this color combo. So that was one small success.
I don’t know, but instantly I saw a cat. Above, you can see my editing outline. From there, I tried really hard not to over-do and add unnecessary layers of paint which is where I get into unhappy-color-land. So, I did very little. I added molding paste to the background to give it a rough palette knife texture, added some details and tried as hard as I could to keep it simple. I still feel guilty like I didn’t work hard enough or struggle enough, but I let that go, and that felt pretty good. I really have to practise relaxing and not over thinking. This is SOOOO HARD for me! I always feel like I am too late and coming from behind when it comes to painting. Any one into the theater production of Hamilton? There is a song asking “Why do you write like your running out of time?” Man I can totally relate. Hamilton wrote at a fevered pitch. If his peers wrote 20 documents, he was writing 80. The running out of time part was that he did. He died early. I feel like my spirit feels like it’s working against Life’s clock. That or I’m just completely mental. Let’s just hope I’m mental :)
As for cats. It’s hidden in the final painting, but I found myself writing “Thank you for teaching me how to love”. I really mean this. My cat has helped me with my spiritual practise. Every day I pick her up. I feel her warmth, her heart beat, her purr and it instantly forces me to become present. When she prances by, I take it as a reminder to stop everything, appreciate exactly where I am and exactly what I’m doing. It is one of the few reminders that literally walks by me each and every day. I hug her tight, enjoy looking out the window, observing, being quiet and being peaceful. Unfortunately, it lasts about as long as my meditation practise – not very long, but at least it’s daily :)
My cat teaches me gratitude and for that I am truly grateful.